There are moments in life when words feel both powerful and impossibly small. Standing before family and friends to speak about someone who has passed is one of those moments. You want to do justice to their memory, to honor their life, and to express the love and loss that fill your heart, but where do you begin?
Writing a eulogy is more than listing accomplishments. It’s about telling the story of a life, one filled with moments, laughter, lessons, and love, that will live on in the hearts of those listening.
If you’re facing the task of writing a eulogy, here’s how you can create something heartfelt, memorable, and deeply personal.
1. Begin with Memories, Not Pressure
Instead of worrying about “getting it perfect,” start by writing down moments that truly capture who they were.
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Was there a phrase they always said?
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Did they have a hobby or passion everyone knew them for?
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How did they make people feel when they walked into a room?
These personal touches make the eulogy feel alive, like you’re inviting others to see them through your eyes.
2. Share Stories That Reflect Their Character
Achievements matter, but it’s the little moments that often tell the bigger story. A kind gesture, a shared joke, a memory of them dancing in the kitchen, these can paint a vivid picture of their personality and spirit.
People may forget dates and details, but they’ll remember how your words made them feel.
3. Balance Emotion and Lightness
Grief is heavy, but it’s okay to include moments of warmth or humor, especially if they reflect who your loved one truly was. Sharing a lighthearted story can bring comfort and remind everyone that their life was filled with joy as well as challenges.
4. Keep It Personal and Genuine
There’s no need for elaborate language if it’s not natural to you. Speak from the heart in your own voice. A simple, honest expression of love and loss will resonate far more than perfectly crafted sentences.
5. End with a Lasting Message
Close your eulogy with a thought, quote, or personal wish that reflects their life and values. You might:
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Thank them for the time you had together.
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Express how their legacy will live on.
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Offer a message of hope or comfort for those listening.
Example: “Though we say goodbye today, your laughter, love, and lessons will echo in our hearts forever.”
Writing a eulogy is an act of love. It’s a way of giving back, a final gift to someone who shaped your life. Take your time, speak from your heart, and remember: it’s not about perfection, but about connection.
Your words can help everyone in the room feel closer, not just to the person they’ve lost, but to each other.
Related Resources
- Helping Children Understand Death and Grieve
- Grieving the Loss of a Loved One: How to Cope When the Pain Feels Overwhelming
- Creative Ways to Display a Loved One's Urn at Home